I find the dynamics of friendship interesting.
I have a group of friends that are flung far and wide. The are “my friends” and everyone I consider a friend is thrown into the same pot. Then I have subsets of friends that come from that group. I have my “online friends” and my “face to face friends”. Those can be broken down into even smaller groups like “people I’ll support any way I can” and “casual friends”. I can break those down further until I come to the one-on-one relationship I have with each and every person that falls into “my friends” as a whole.
My friendship with each person is unique. Each has it’s own set of rules, quirks and needs. Each effects the larger subsets in it’s own way, but none rule the others as a whole. I can be irritated with someone personally and yet still function within a group setting with them. The group dynamic is more important to me than my personal beef with someone and so I can set that aside for the betterment of the group… most of the time.
Unfortunately, sometimes there events that occur that prevent me from being “The Bigger Person” and shit. hits. the. fan. It happened in October. With my sister-in-law. IN A RESTAURANT. WITH OTHER FRIENDS IN ATTENDANCE. We both lost our shit in one of those chick arguments that potentially brings the cops to a public place. After, I was mortified. We managed to work things out between the two of us. However, the group fall out… that’s another story. Some still lay blame at my feet. Some have used it as an excuse to be bitchy or petty. Others just let the fracas run its course and moved past it themselves.
This is a perfect example of how group friendships are a difficult thing to balance. Are they worth it? Hell yeah. However, no one handles them the same way and that complicates things… HUGELY. It leads me to question myself. Are my views on friendship odd? Are they in some way skewed? Should individuals issues with one another cause a problem for the group as a whole? What do you think?
