I’m struggling this morning. The Ex-HusbandGuy and his parents came by this morning and picked up Shecky for the weekend. I’m glad he’s spending time with them. He’s missed them terribly since we moved from Texas the beginning of August.
Something inside me broke when they walked out the door. I can’t really explain it. Watching my little man walk out the door hurt my heart. HE, however, seemed fine with it!
Is my reaction just because it’s the first time? Is it even a normal reaction? Divorced parents, gimme a holler in the comments and tell me if it was the same for you?
6 Responses
October 16th, 2009 at 8:19 am
Totally normal. That one rare occasion that Cletus came to Illinois and carted Mancub off to GA for a month, I was devastated. I stood in the driveway bawling. Mancub had his dad stop the car so he could give me another hug and kiss and reassurance that he’d be ok. He was all of 12 at the time. He didn’t cry on departure, but he did when he saw me again for the first time upon return.
October 16th, 2009 at 8:38 am
Dad told me that it broke his heart every time he had to put us on a plane to send us to Florida to visit the DNA Donor. But we were gone for a month.
I do remember the tears in his eyes when we flew back and I was 11 and 12 at the time.
October 16th, 2009 at 8:45 am
oh yes, totally normal! I recall feeling very teary eyed the first visit ex had with kiddo. I was lucky & had a more gradual introduction with visits only being a couple hours in the early days. The first overnight was hard for me too, but my kiddo took it all in stride. ((((hugs))) Pamper yourself, watch a movie you wouldn’t let Shecky watch, enjoy some adult time!
October 16th, 2009 at 7:31 pm
Even though I’ve never had kids, I really know what you mean. There is such a strong bond between parents and their kids that partings will always be sweet sorrow. If there is any degree of attachment between fathers and their kids, they feel the same- but many fathers haven’t established an emotional bond in the first place. However,the relationship of the kids to each parent is EVERYTHING! These are their original bonds that they have to spend their teenage years trying hard to break or they will never be able to form new bonds with partners of their own! It is so central to kids, most mothers and many fathers that the breaking of a bond even temporarily can be a physically painful wrench. It ’s all normal and it makes the world go round. Enjoy the love of your kids and be proud of them being so brave that they can take a break from one parent and be with the other a while!
October 17th, 2009 at 6:15 pm
Yes. YES. It is so hard. I’ve been sharing custody of my youngest son (he’s 4 now) for two years and it’s still heart-hurting every time I drop him off with his dad.
You’ll be alright; what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger, right?
*hugs*
October 18th, 2009 at 12:15 am
**hugs**
This is not going to be an easy journey, but your feelings are totally normal.
Luckily, Shecky actually likes hanging out with dad & the grandparents. It is so much harder when the kids do NOT want to go but you have to have them go anyway. xoxoxoxoxoxoxo
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