I disappointed my child today. Man, it SUCKS to admit that.
Tomorrow is their end of year field trip at school. It’s the FIRST ONE I would have been able to handle going to physically… and I can’t go.
Mom is very apprehensive about me driving her car alone on an hour plus trip. Shecky is very upset and unhappy that I am not going. Honestly, I am too. It breaks my heart that I’m not going to share in this trip. The reasons are plentiful, but one stands out.
They have been working on Manners. Table manners, honesty, trustworthiness in a “Finishing School” of sorts. The kids are all getting dressed up in their Sunday best..(In OUR case it’s new dress clothes because we are heathens. Sunday Best means Pj’s all day heh) and they are going to the nearest Olive Garden for lunch. The boys will pull the girl’s chairs out for them and God only knows what other kinds of adorable mini adult goings on there will be.
Tonight, when I saw him all dressed up in his new duds, I felt that familiar stinging in my eyes. My little boy man… he’s only 8 but I can already see the potential for who he could be if he follows the right path… if he makes the right choices… I see the potential of his whole life line up in front of him and I want to weep for all the possibilities… fulfilled and missed opportunities…
I hope the example I’m setting for him helps him on his way. I hope the choices I find myself faced with… the choices I have made in the past and am making now help him find HIS way down HIS path and make it a little easier to be comfortable with who he is. I hope he can learn to embrace himself… to celebrate himself… and to realize that all the disappointments he’s faced with all the joys that he’s had make him who he is. Someone pretty damned fantastic.
