Today was the first home game for Shecky’s Little League Basketball team. I spent the ENTIRE day at the gym surrounded by screaming, sweaty, hyper children from the age of 5 to 15. Holy Shit… that was FUN!
Having substituted at the school a few times I know more of the kids playing. They all came around at different times to visit with me, give me a hug and ask me to watch their game and root them on. I have to say… I SO loved that! lol.
The kids at this school are just really … well… great. Many of them have emotional problems for some reason or another. I find that odd in such a small school. However, at their core… in their hearts… these are some wonderful kids.
One kid in particular… worries me? No… I’m not worried about him really. However, he does… stick with me… I guess.
Yesterday, he had some emotional outbursts in class of the anger kind. He was rejected by some of his classmates and started kicking things around the room.
This SHOCKED me. He had been so sweet all morning. Smiling his big toothy smile and participating in class. Joking and laughing with his classmates. His demeanor turned on a DIME and it really shocked and frightened me.
I sent him to his desk and he threw the notebook he left on top of it across the room. I stood up, looked him in the eye (the eye which tears were fricking POURING out of and the eye that was filled with frustration… FILLED with it…) and very clearly and sternly told him “Pick that up… NOW.” I spoke to him as I would have my own son in the same situation. He stormed away from his desk, got the notebook and sat back down.
He proceeded to melt… down. I let him get some of it out of his system then I walked to him and asked him to follow me. Telling the rest of the class “I can still SEE you when I’m on the other side of the door. Windows are funny that way!” I took him out into the hall and tried to talk him down.
His posture was telling. His entire body was stiff and straight as a board. His arms held closely to his sides, fists balled up tightly. He wanted a fight. I was going to give him one… but not the way he was expecting.
I asked him what was wrong. He told me his classmates wouldn’t let him play with them. (It was a free day. A totally different and LONG story lol) I asked him if he always reacted the way he did, with anger and threatened violence, and he nodded. However, he looked sad about it. Which… confused me.
I told him acting like that could be part of the reason the kids were excluding him. If they don’t know when he’s going to become aggressive… they don’t know how to act around him in general.
I told him I knew he was frustrated.
He nodded. Smiling just a little.
I asked him to unclench his hands.
He did… but not by much.
I asked him to GIVE me his hands.
He hesitated… but he did.
I told him I understood frustration and not knowing what to do with it.
I told him even adults can feel like that when life seems like it’s completely out of their control.
I told him when he starts feeling that way… do something that makes you feel calm.
I told him when I feel that way… I sing.
He looked suprised.
He asked if that really helps.
I told him it does… for me. Everyone has to find their own “thing”.
He asked me to help him find his.
I told him wanting to find it is the first step… the next… is holding onto the WANT of finding it that he feels right now… especially in the face of his frustration.
He hugged me… walked back into the room… and danced to a tune only he could hear.
I can only hope… I helped him a little. I found out later in the day the story behind his issues… his frustration… his aggression. It only made me want to hug him more tightly and help him find his way even more.
He’s one of the many lost kids that, often, none of the adults surrounding them realize are flailing about and trying to find their way.
He’s one of the reasons I want to get my degree in psychology. He’s one of the reasons my heart bleeds when I see a child that struggles. He’s one of mine… and has been since before I ever met him.
6 Responses
January 10th, 2009 at 10:58 pm
Great story… fantastic! Thank you for sharing
(ps… I like it when you sing too!!
)
sorenjs last blog post..Snopes tested, Puntiglio approved…
January 10th, 2009 at 11:20 pm
I love you. You are amazing.
Devyls last blog post..Hello, My Name is Devyl. Nice to Meet You. (#10/365)
January 11th, 2009 at 10:41 am
That’s awsome NAMG,
It takes a special kind of person to see these things and deal with them in such a positive way. I hope you do keep striving for your degree because you are a natural.
Andy Almquists last blog post..A Year in Review
January 11th, 2009 at 11:28 am
this is why you were meant to work with children. You know lady, you’re a hero. Making a difference, even for a moment in a childs life, for the better – makes you a hero in my eyes. I’m very proud to say i know you
cylithrias last blog post..I’m from Frayser Fucka
January 11th, 2009 at 11:53 am
[...] her post, ‘I’m Thinking of Something and it Starts with the Letter “K”‘ , Not a Mean Girl told of a child who had a sudden change in disposition. She went on [...]
January 12th, 2009 at 10:06 am
You are awesome. This post made my eyes well up. (((HUGS)))
XOXOXO
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